


A Warm Feeling

by PrincessAmericaChavez



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Pre-Relationship, Spoilers, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 20:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14456787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessAmericaChavez/pseuds/PrincessAmericaChavez
Summary: “So the Traveler is there even when you can’t see him?”“Oh, yes!” Jester smiled at him. “I mean, notallthe time because I’m sure he has other cool things to do every day, but most of the time, yes. He’s around.”“How do youknow,though?” He insisted.





	A Warm Feeling

“Look at those two,” Fjord snorted quietly. “They look so funny!”

Jester chuckled in response, looking at Beau and Molly walk a few feet ahead of them with their arms out stretched, as if trying to grab something. Every so often they’d point somewhere in the air and make unison sounds of amazement or fear before walking ahead once more. They were also holding on to each other, as if they were afraid of getting lost on her own, and it kinda looked like they were hugging. 

She thought it was hilarious, really, and she was glad that Fjord agreed. It was very nice having a quiet moment together, as they walked down the street looking after their intoxicated friends. After the insane pace of the past few days, being able to relax and just talk or laugh felt like a true blessing from the Traveler.

“What do you think they are looking at?” She asked, playfully. 

“I don’t know,” Fjord shrugged. “Weird shit, I guess.”

“I bet they’re looking at hamster unicorns!” Jester suggested.

“You think?” Fjord looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Have you ever seen one of those? Like, in person?”

That’s one thing she really liked about Fjord, no matter what crazy thing she came up with, he always took her seriously. The others did too, some times, but they also felt like they were just rolling with it. It was different with him, like he always believed her. Maybe he was just gullible, but either way she liked how it felt. So she decided to answer truthfully instead of messing with him.

“Not really, but I believe they are real.”

“You do?” Fjord arched both eyebrows this time. “How?”

“Well, I just do!” She rolled her eyes. “Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there, you know? Like your falchion, or The Traveler!”

“Right,” Fjord frowned, suddenly serious. She looked at his face scrunch for a minute until his eyebrows nearly touched each other. Then, he looked at her and his face relaxed a little. “So the Traveler is there even when you can’t see him?”

“Oh, yes!” Jester smiled at him. “I mean, not  _all_ the time because I’m sure he has other cool things to do every day, but most of the time, yes. He’s around.”

“How do you  _know,_ though?” He insisted.

“Well,” she tapped her chin thoughtfully, “you know, it’s different things. Like, sometimes, I just get this very nice feeling in my body… and sometimes, when I make a very very good prank, I can hear him laughing!” She giggled. “He loves that. And then, sometimes, he just shows up and talks to me.”

From the corner of her eye, she noticed that Fjord jumping a little, as if someone’d just pinched him with a needle in the butt.

“Does he… does he talk to you in your sleep?” He asked, looking at her with very wide eyes. 

“No!” Jester made a face. “That would be  _stupid._ If he talked to me when I’m sleeping, I wouldn’t be able to talk back!”

“Oh,” Fjord blinked. “Then…”

“He just shows up,” she shrugged, dismissively. “He’s suddenly there, and we talk and hang out and stuff.”

“What do you talk about?”

“Well, you know, lot’s of things. Like, how was my day, and what I did, and I tell him stories, and he gives me advice…”

“I see,” he hummed softly. “And how does that make you feel?”

“Why are you so interested in The Traveler all of the sudden?!” Jester jumped, feeling a little interrogated. She wasn’t sure how she felt about all this sudden questions. 

“I… just… I wanted to know…” Fjord mumbled. 

“Are you jealous, Fjord?”

“Why the hell would I be jealous?” He turned to look at her again, looking genuinely confused. 

“I don’t know, I just— I don’t know,” she dodged, looking away to hide the pinch of disappointment that twisted her gut. She kinda hopped that he  _would_ be at least a little bit jealous, honestly. “But then,” she looked up, “why do you wanna know so bad?!”

“I’m just curious!” Fjord raised his hands in surrender. “I just… I just wanna know a little bit more about that, I mean it’s so important to you, and if he’s around all the time… I thought it would be good to know. I’m sorry if it came out wrong.”

And now she felt bad for making him feel bad. Great. 

“Oh, well,” she sighed. “Okay. I guess it’s okay if you wanna know.”

They walked a few more blocks in silence, while Molly and Beau zigzagged through the sidewalk.

“So,” Fjord said quietly, “if you don’t mind me asking, how do those talks make you feel?”

She thought about it for a moment before a playful smile took over her face.

“It’s  _really_  good,” she said with a laugh. “Like, really really good. It feels like a warm hug, you know? Like feeling safe and happy at the same time. It feels the way hot chocolate makes you feel, like everything will be fine. I guess that’s why he showed up so much more when I was in Nicodranas,” she mused.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Jester felt her voice getting a little smaller as she tried to explain this, bringing her hands up to play with a lock of her hair. “It’s just… when I was there, in my room, some times I felt kinda sad… I mean, it was  _boring_ and I was always alone. Some days were just…  _shit._ But then  _he_ would show up and we would talk for a very long time and I would make him laugh and he would ruffle my hair… and then I really felt like everything was going to be alright.”

“So he just showed up in your room?”

“Yes.”

“And you were never scared of him.”

“Of course not!” Jester rolled her eyes. “He’s my best friend!”

Fjord hummed in response, then got very quiet. He had that face on again, the ‘I’m thinking very seriously about something that I don’t wanna talk about’ face that he so often wore when they were first traveling together, it showed up a lot after he had bad dreams, too. She still wondered about his bloody mouth, but she figured it was better than barfing salt water, so she decided not to comment on it yet. 

After a few minutes of trying to imagine all the crazy things Beau and Molly could be looking at in their weird state, she glanced at Fjord again. His face was still distant, brow furrowed in deep thought, but now she noticed one of his hands was up in his mouth. It kinda looked like he was biting his nails, except that he also looked like he was scratching the inside of his-  _oh._

Jester reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from his face, gently but firmly. Fjord startled, stopping slightly. He looked at her, then at her joint hands, suddenly blushing. Jester looked at their hands too, suddenly realizing what she’d done, noticing she was still holding Fjord’s hand in hers. She felt her own cheeks burn. Then, Fjord’s face changed, probably realizing  _why_ she’d done that. His blush deepened, as a pained and embarrassed expression took over his features. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

“I thought you’d want a pastry!” She jumped, improvising, as she pulled out a bear claw from her bag with her free hand, still holding his with the other. She opened his palm and put the pastry inside it, ignoring his protests. “We didn’t have lunch, after all.”

“This isn’t one of the stale ones, is it?” Fjord asked, clearly trying to joke despite the slight strain to his voice. 

“No,” she drawled. “This is one of the ones I bought with Beau and Caleb the other day! I only have like two more, so I should really go buying more later. You wanna come with me?” She said it all in a single breath, nervous, as she pulled out another sweet for herself. 

“Jester, don’t you think you should ease on the pastries? I mean, that’s a lot of sugar.”

“So?”

“Well, it’s not good for you. You should eat other things.”

“Why, though?” She pouted, looking up at him.

“Because… well, uh, your body needs it.”

“Says who?” She demanded to know. “I mean, who says pastries aren’t as good as any other food?”

“I didn’t-”

“What if that’s the reason I’m so much stronger than all of you?”

Fjord opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He frowned, then arched his eyebrows. It was all very cute.

“You know what? You’ve got a point,” he finally said, taking a bite of his bear claw. “It’s worth a shot.”

She smiled brightly at him, feeling a familiar warmth spread through her.

They started walking again, now a few feet behind Beau and Molly, though still keeping them in sight. Jester wished she could still be holding Fjord’s hand. Maybe next time, if she didn’t panic.

“You know,” she said, after a while, “if you really wanna know more about The Traveler, maybe you could meet him.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’d really like you! You are very cool, and so is he, so you’ll totally like each other! And you can ask him all the things you want, and you can see what it’s like to talk to him and all.”

“That… That’d be great, Jester.  _Thank you,”_ he said, giving her a look. That look.  _That_ fucking look that made her knees feel like jelly. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“What? Uh, no. I mean, it’s totally cool. I think it’s gonna be great!” She grinned, clapping her hands together and pressing them to her cheek, imagining it. She really hoped Fjord and the Traveler were very good friends. Maybe that would make Fjord as happy as it made her when she first met her god. Maybe it would help him love himself more, like Jester had learnt to. 

“Well, if you- Why the hell are they going to the cemetery?!”

“What?” Jester blinked, looking forward towards where her friends had entered. 

“C’mon, Jess, let’s catch up with them before they walk into an open tomb or something,” Fjord said, grabbing her hand to pull her along at a quicker pace. 

Jester managed to keep herself from squeaking with delight as she followed, holding his hand tightly. 

“You gotta admit that’d be funny, though,” she snorted. 

“Bet your Traveler would like it,” Fjord side smirked at her, without slowing down. 

He sent her a quick wink. Good thing they were going to the cemetery, because it nearly killed her of happiness right then and there. Oh, the feeling that engulfed her was much better than hot chocolate.


End file.
